A woman walked into an accountant's office and told him that she needed to file her income tax return. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions."
He gets her name, address and social security number, then asks, "What is your occupation?"
"I'm a whore," she says.
The accountant is somewhat taken back and says, "No, no, no, that won't work. That is too crass. Let's try to rephrase that."
The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl."
"No, that's still too crude. Try again."
They both think for a minute, then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore?"
"Well, I raised over a thousand little peckers last year."
Morris is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker, Joe, is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
"Hey Joe," he yells out, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal out of it, it's only an earring," says Joe sheepishly.
"No really," probes Morris, "how long have you been wearing one?"
In a recent news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena Bobbitt's sister, Louella, was arrested for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago.
Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena.
She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage.
The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition, and Louella has been charged with A Misdewiener!
One night, a couple went to bed and the husband tapped his wife on the shoulder, romantically rubbing her arm. The wife said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, rolled over and tried to sleep.
A few minutes later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again. This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow, too?"
