A woman walked into an accountant's office and told him that she needed to file her income tax return. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions."

He gets her name, address and social security number, then asks, "What is your occupation?"

"I'm a whore," she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken back and says, "No, no, no, that won't work. That is too crass. Let's try to rephrase that."

The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl."

"No, that's still too crude. Try again."

They both think for a minute, then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore?"

"Well, I raised over a thousand little peckers last year."

"Good enough," said the accountant.

 

 

Morris is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker, Joe, is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

"Hey Joe," he yells out, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal out of it, it's only an earring," says Joe sheepishly.

"No really," probes Morris, "how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in our bed."